D for Day Three and Four: #atozchallenge Fiction

As a co-host, I begin with A to Z Challenge  reminders:
1. Turn off your word verification. It helps no one. You may moderate comments for a while if you’re unsure.
2. In your comment id, link only to your AZ blog, NOT your profile which may have five other blogs.

3. Leave a link to you when you comment.
4. Comment when you visit blogs. Start visiting with the blog below you on the linky list.
5. Make it easy for people to follow your blog and follow you on social media.


Today’s picture prompt and story starter (at the beginning of the story in bold)  come from Marian Allen  who has been an awesome blog friend and supporter since the last A to Z Challenge when I met her.

Day three and four continued to fade into the night and yet she did not waken to the world because day and night had united in her eyes, in  her breath, her very bones. All that was left was a never-ending sunset, and the tower in front of her home that shot up into the sky.
 Ever since she came to this house she’d imagined a sprite sitting high up there watching over her home. Through the years of her marriage, the beatings, the birthings, the making love, she kept her eyes on that tower.
She kept her vigil by the bedroom window now, afraid to move, lest she miss the moment he would walk in, slam shut the gate with unsteady hands, and she, annoyed, would whisper to him in a voice that carried in the thin summer air: The children are asleep, can you keep it down for God’s sake?
In her waiting she did not hear the wails of her infant daughter whose first sob startled her awake on any given night, and on to her feet. She did not move when her toddling son tugged at her skirt, nor listen when her parents tried to shake her, bring her back to them.
They found him, a week later, at a brothel where his heart had given out under all the strain he had put it through. She drew the blinds on her window, did not look up at the tower again.
Months went by. The funeral wound down, the neighbors left, as did her parents and his. She sat by the window, the baby now a toddler at her knee, the brother playing on the floor. The room lay cocooned in dark, the children fussed, and she could not breathe in the incense-laden air. 

She snapped up the blinds, shoved the windows open. The room needed light, devil take the tower. No one had ever sat in it, she knew that now.

A to Z Stories of Life and Death

If you liked this story you might like some of the stories I wrote for my A to Z last year.

I love comments, and I always visit back. Blogging is all about being a part of a community, and communities are about communication! Tweet me up @damyantig !

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Add Yours
  1. Lynn

    Great story there – perfect with the photo.

    And thanks for the tips – I am finding that sometimes the A to Z bloggers visiting my blog indeed make it hard to find their blogs.

  2. Rayna Iyer

    What a powerful story. You are an incredible wordsmith.
    And while I would love to call you didi, something tells me I might well be older than you (even though you write with a maturity way beyond anything I can manage).

  3. A J

    I like that line in the beginning "all that was left was a never-ending sunset" – it sets the tone for how despondent the character is and drew me in.

  4. Melissa Sugar

    What a powerful story. I hope there is more, this should be part of a novel. I felt every raw emotion. You have an amazing way with words and description.

  5. Damyanti

    Thanks again to everyone, for your comments. I'll not reply individually, but use the time instead to visit all of you back. I'm just replying here to the comments that need clarification…

    Erin, that sprite was a crutch she had created to survive through an abusive marriage, through the loss of her husband who didn't deserve her love. She finally threw it away.

    Rachel, I couldn't read beyond the first pages of the Twilight series, but yes, I did want to shatter the fairytale illusion here—sometimes faith is our strength, at others it is a weakness, and she had finally grown strong.

    MAJK/ Melody– I didn't intend for this to end in tears, I had a smile when I wrote the end.

    Marian, you were the one who started off this piece, the first words are yours, as are the images in the story, which derive from your photograph—so you're co-author, not just a small part.

    Sue, your reading was mine—but I'm happy with the other readings too, once the story is out there, its meaning is decided by its readers, not the writer.

    Lastly, for everyone who left a kind word, you don't know how grateful I am. Really.

  6. sulekkha

    Intense story. I am glad she opened the window to let in the sunshine and fresh breath of life. The devil is in our minds and we can defeat him anytime we want. Just beautiful…

  7. melch

    Hi D, love the spartan touch to this piece because it gives the reader a chance to fill in the dramatic blanks and get into the story.

  8. sue

    I love the last paragraph with the "snapped" and "shoved" – very decisive, and firm like someone facing reality and facing it honestly. Interesting how we all read the one story differently. I sense hope and growing confidence…
    Sue: An A-Z of Climate Matters

  9. MAJK

    Excellent as always – the emotion was powerful – not enough to make me cry this time but enough to make me feel.

    *~ MAJK ~*
    A to Z Challenge

  10. Rachel Morgan

    She snapped up the blinds, shoved the windows open. You've perfectly shattered the fairy tale illusion with these words.

    This may or may not be what you were going for, but I was reminded of that scene in the second Twilight movie after Edward leaves Bella and she sits at the window for ages, and the camera spins slowly around her, watching the seasons change, and all the while she's still sitting there…

  11. Cherie Reich

    Such a powerful piece. Loved this! I particularly love this line: All that was left was a never-ending sunset, and the tower in front of her home that shot up into the sky.

  12. Kittie Howard

    OMG, so powerful. They say betrayal is the most difficult emotion to deal with. You've really brought that emotion into focus — and the complexities around it. Great writing!