First Challenge of WriteCampaign organized by Rachel Harrie is here!

This is what the challenge requires us to do: 
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: “the door swung shut.” (also included in the word count)

And here’s my entry, at exactly 200 words (including the words from the prompt):( I’m entry 279, whew!)
 Thai Massage

The door swung open and Nana found herself faced with a large, hairy armpit. A doughy lump of a woman in a spaghetti top and sarong overflowed from a revolving chair. A bird-like young girl bent over her, forceps in hand, plucking one hair after another. The enormous woman grimaced from time to time, but found a moment to smile at Nana.
            “What you want madaaam?” she drawled in Thai contralto. If a python could sing, it would sound like her.            

“Just looking to join my husband for a massage. He said he’d be in the last massage parlour down this road.”            

“Your husbaaand, madaaam? No man come here, woman-only parlour madaaam, come in come in,” said the woman, shaking the girl off, rising to her small, pudgy feet.            

“Oh, I’ll go find him then.”            

“Only come in that door, no go out, madaaam.” The woman moved fast for someone her bulk.            

“I’m sorry?”            

“Pretty white girl like you get good price,” smiled the woman, grabbing Nana’s arm, “in two days I get back all the money I pay your husband for youuu.”            

As Nana struggled, she felt a needle sink into her arm. Behind her, the door swung shut.

If you haven’t read J.C. Martin’s post onwriting flash fiction, please scroll down to yesterday’s post to learn a few tips.
Tomorrow I’m a guest at My journey Through the Pages, Patricia Lynne’s blog. Please come say hello!
Also, reminding all fiction writers of the Rule of Three Blogfest, a month-long shared-world fiction extravaganza in October with some great prizes, and of course, a lot of exposure and constructive feedback for your writing.
This is one Blogfest fiction authors ought not to miss. Go ahead and sign up!
And finally, if you liked the 200-word piece and would like to read more of my stories, go buy A to Z Stories of Life and Death, available on Kindle and Smashwords.

I love comments, and I always visit back. Blogging is all about being a part of a community, and communities are about communication! Tweet me up @damyantig !

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Add Yours
  1. Amanda Milner

    Oh wow! What a disturbing ending! Of course, I enjoy disturbing, so I enjoyed this! 😉 You described the characters well, I could almost see them!

  2. Damyanti

    JC 🙂

    Tina…thanks for stopping by, and I hope I'm following you already!

    Claire, you understand absolutely correctly! 😀

  3. Claire

    Loved this, especially the twist at the end! Tell me, did I understand correctly, was the young girl plucking her underarm hair?? If so, that's hilarious!

  4. tinadchayes

    At first, I thought the wife was going to walk in on the husband doing the nasty, so I didn't see the end coming. Good luck with your entry! 🙂

    We're in the same Lit Fic crusader group.

  5. J.C. Martin

    Creepy! As always, you've created a masterful piece of flash fiction! I'll be seeing that fat Thai woman in my nightmares now! Thanks…I think!

  6. Shiraz Akhtar

    This is very interesting to say the least. I love your descriptive style.

    Thanks for the link for The Rules of Three Blogfest. I will have a look at that. I'm in the middle of something these days and there is always a shortage of time, as you can understand as a writer.

  7. Damyanti

    Sandwiched writer, I think the Rule of Three would be a great fit for a writer like you 🙂

    F.E. Sewell, you're very welcome to the visit :)…hope to keep in touch throughout the campaign!

    N.Scott and Marcy, thankyou! 🙂

  8. Sandwiched Writer


    Stopping by to say thank you so much for your comments on my flash piece, for your "like," and for the invitation to The Rule of 3 blogfest (never participated in one before). Will be in touch about it!

  9. Damyanti

    Thank you so much for your kind words, everyone.

    I did not think of the ending as much of a twist,really…but then I hardly think when I write these pieces: my pen writes them, not me.

    Katie, my praise for your writing was very well-deserved, imho. I hope you do join The Rule of Three Blogfest.

  10. Katie Gates

    You did a great job with the challenge, Damyanti. The ending really surprised me. Also I want to thank you for your kind words on my recent post, which ended the 3-part story. I was touched by your praise. I also just dropped by the Rule of Three blogfest post. I don't know if I'll be able to do it, as I'm feeling overwhelmed these days, but… I haven't ruled it out yet, and I appreciate your letting me know about it!

  11. Damyanti

    Lynda, Deanna, Susan, thanks!

    Jocelyn, that's my fave line too.

    Sher, sorry to have opened up bad memories. I'm glad your friend escaped, and yes, her story deserves to be told.

    This vignette is almost totally fiction…the only true part is the plucking of the armpit…which I witnessed while passing by a small, dingy salon on the streets of Bangkok this week.

    The woman I saw was no python…she was a beauty past her prime, sitting nonchalantly smiling at passers-by as a girl bent over her armpit.

    But things get twisted in my head and appear in stories…I've been trying to write less creepy stuff, I promise you that! 🙂

  12. Sher A. Hart

    Very good, but hit too close to home for me. I know a woman who escaped a real life kidnapping for the sex trade. Makes my heart hurt. One day I'm going to have to write her story.

  13. Damyanti

    Maria, Christine, Donna, Erin—thanks!

    Denise, you're welcome. WOuld really love to see your entry into THe Rule of Three!

  14. L'Aussie

    Oh Damyanti, you're such a writer! I love the tension here and the way you build it right to the horrible ending. Denise

    Thx for being understanding re the Rule of Three blogfest. I'll relook and also thanks for all the other links today. You rock!