As part of the A to Z Challenge, through the month of April I’ll be posting a story a day based on photographs by Joseph T. Richardson and prompts given to me by blog-friends.
Writing prompt: Kiss me if you can…
Provided by: Samantha Redstreake Geary friend, fellow writer, and one of the magnificent Seven of #TeamDamyanti
By then, I was too far gone.
I watched Susie paint her lips in a smudged hand mirror, sitting in my car. Her hair needed a comb, she needed someone to stop her, and I needed to be that man. Call it drink, call it being newly wed to a woman I wanted nothing to do with, but I had made up my mind. Don’t go, not tonight.
Don’t be daft. She opened her mouth, her spice-red lips, in a circle then a pout, turned this way and that, examining those lips I’d kissed not ten minutes ago. Her lips had flamed up with my kisses, why did she need more color?
Come on, what would a night hurt?
What about your wife? And do you think I do this cos I enjoy it?
She worked a roller on her short black wool skirt, stripping away bits of lint. I’d laid her up on one of the white tablecovers in the pantry, too much in a hurry, too desperate, too scared someone would find us. But that was not the only thing that made my heart gallop so hard.
We watched the train tracks that would lead her far away, and the tall fir trees that flanked it, straight and solemn like soldiers at a comrade’s funeral.
A row of fir had watched over us as we played together, Susie’s cousins and I, at the church garden that summer afternoon. We had all learned about a boy kissing a girl, and twelve-year-old Susie had volunteered to be that girl, as long as we struck to lips, no touching anywhere else.
I don’t remember our exact words, but I remember we asked why we would want that. Two years older than the eldest of us, Susie gave us a sly smile in response. Just like that, she said, but make sure you don’t forget.
And then she broke into a run, like a skittish colt across the green, Kiss me if you can, she sang, and turning, let out a shriek when we followed her. Did we catch her? Again, I do not remember.
But today, I wanted to catch her, hook her to me, keep her bound. I reached for her, but she had already opened the door. I could hear the rumble of the train on the tracks, its distant whistle.
She stepped out and ran, this time without looking back.
Are you taking part in the A to Z challenge? Do you read or write fiction? Ever write based on a prompt? Kisses you’d like to talk about? 🙂
Great stuff here, very subtle. Nostalgic. Sniff of danger about it. Echoes for me of what little I have read of Annie Proulx’s work. Impressed. Are you from North America yourself, Damyanti? Or born in Singapore? Best wishes on the A to Z.
I’m born neither in North America, nor Singapore. I’m an Indian by birth, who is yet to visit the US :).
I love Annie Proulx– Shipping News, right?
Another beautiful piece… poignant!
Flash fiction is such a great exercise and skill to develop. You’ve done it well. Guilie said it well, above. Well done!
Wow,K has got too many kisses this April,and your kiss has kissed my heart 😉
Kiss seems to be a popular theme for K. 😉
Your characterization is amazing, and the ending is captivating. I want more! 😀
Your every story is intriguing.. it takes me to lovely places and makes me visualize!!
Smile, it makes (y)our day!
“I don’t remember our exact words, but I remember we asked why we would want that. Two years older than the eldest of us, Susie gave us a sly smile in response.” I could picture that sly smile. Great story!
I enjoyed reading this. It really conveyed alot. I loved how you caught the sense of what a long train ride is like, the way you just *sink into it*, and experience it, unlike a car ride or anything similar today. In particular, I loved the way you said her lips were “spice-red” 🙂 That was awesome!!!! I’m going to enjoy reading your blog…and hope you continue to enjoy mine as well…. zeroebelief.com
You’ve given us a taste of what more there could be and the post is enough to stand alone. It’s fabulous, Damyanti, thank you. I love it!
Terse, laconic, yet deep and intelligent; a thoroughgoing masterpiece of flash fiction.
So lovely and beautiful tale of Kiss, I loved the description very much.
I LOVE this – so much told in so few words. Thank you so much for visiting my blog – yours is a delight and I am very happy to have found it! TDx
You are very descriptive to paint a picture in my head! I hope I can do that eventually!
Wonderful writing here, very nice imagery, well done! 🙂
LOVE this piece! Great use of back story in such a short space. Could take in the scene and emotions so well.
Reblogged this on rodriandotco.
The sadness of what could have been. Nicely written (once again) 🙂
A little gem of a piece that tells as much of a story in what’s left unsaid, as that of the story itself…
I liked the back flash – it’s used well. We needed more story! Cheers.
You’ve included a lot of very vivid images in the story — the kind of descriptions that will stay with me.
One of the things I enjoy the most about (good) flash fiction is what’s left unsaid. It’s a requirement of the genre; one can’t write ultra-short pieces without leaving out most of the “story”–but the masterful writer knows how to hint at these things s/he’s left out, and in so doing engages the reader into a much larger story. You’re one of these masters, Damyanti. It’s always a pleasure to read your fiction.
Guilie @ Quiet Laughter
Just great and full of imagery! From being a child to an adult in a few action packed sentences!
Garden of Eden Blog
Reblogged this on rodriandotco.
There was a lot in this, it was great 🙂
Very good I too wanted to know more, I had lots of questions, which is good.
Yes, I’m doing A to Z (like a crazy person. Why do we do this to ourselves?) I do read and write fiction. I’m a better reader. I’ve tried writing to prompts, but i get so hung up on “getting it right” that I can’t get anything out of it. Sigh.
Loved this . Great description of putting lippy on. Lips and kisses. Chases and forgotten. A fabulous example of flash fiction .
Another winner – I do enjoy your stuff.
My favorite so far.
Very interesting characters…and yes it would be great fun to know more about them 🙂
Beauty Interprets, Expresses, Manifests the Eternal
Love this little story…little in length, but big in content.
Reading this makes me want to know more, more, more. I also posted about A KISS (it post at 4am CST). You write so well. I’m so very glad to have met you in blog land. ?
Wow.. you take me to a dream world, Damyanti… I can clearly visualize things when I read you~~Amazing!! 🙂
I like the characterization — reading this makes me want to know more about them.
Thanks For Sharing!
I tried to return the visit and comment, but your blog keeps saying I answered the security questions incorrectly. I didn’t see a security question.
There is a lot of great subtle back story to this tale. Very well done!