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Walking with a purpose: a shot from Batu Caves, Malaysia

Walking with a purpose: a shot from Batu Caves, Malaysia

Considering that I haven’t written on this blog for a while, more than a month to be exact, I should be full of things to write about. Instead, I find myself curiously reluctant, somewhat full, but content to be full, not willing to share. I’m not sure if that is a good thing. So I will press on, and see what comes out.

The last month has had its ups and downs, and I’m happy to report that my pen has not been idle. I have also done a whole load of Italian, spent lots of time with a good friend, cooked, baked, and wondered a little about whether I should go ahead and make some money.

But the most beautiful thing that happened with the slowing down of my pace of life was that I began to live more consciously: I thought of the wrinkles to come as the years pass on, and enjoyed the sight of my taut skin. I walked and ran and climbed, and told myself to use this body as an instrument, to use it, to take care of it, but to always remember that it is the medium, and that the message is for me to decide.

I have to use my body to do something meaningful, use my present youth and awareness to an end that would make some sense after I’m gone. So that I could say, that on this earth I not only took, but gave of myself, in however small a way…which is why I was here in the first place.

I understood that you must catch pleasure wherever you find it, and that you should treat it with an awareness not only of its fragility, but also of its worth. Not to be too taken by pleasure, and too revolted by pain. Both are parts of a duality, after all.

This could be a random morning rambling, or it could be the beginning of wisdom, I’m not sure which.

All I know is what I have always known: that the only truth is the calm blue ocean of peace inside me, untouched by externalities. I must keep going back to it, and in the meanwhile, use the time I have (4 years or 40, I do not know..can anyone?) to create positivity and celebrate it in all its forms.

If you have read till the end, thank you for bearing with my navel gazing. I promise to be more topical and entertaining starting tomorrow.

I just want to say something to two of my friends before I sign off:

To Ely: Thankyou for everything, for the food you cooked and the time you spent with me. I feel much better.

To Sarah: Though I cannot be with you in the flesh, know that my thoughts are with you  in this difficult time. I pray for courage and strength for you.

Damyanti Biswas

Damyanti Biswas is the author of You Beneath Your Skin and numerous short stories that have been published in magazines and anthologies in the US, the UK, and Asia. She has been shortlisted for Best Small Fictions and Bath Novel Awards and is co-editor of the Forge Literary Magazine. Her literary crime thriller series, the Blue Mumbai, is represented by Lucienne Diver from The Knight Agency. Both The Blue Bar and The Blue Monsoon were published in 2023.

I appreciate comments, and I always visit back. If you're having trouble commenting, let me know via the contact form, or tweet me up @damyantig !

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  • elybessy says:

    Sometimes no need words to say thanks, because a warm welcome, a hug are more meaningful than anything. Friendship it does exist, whatever you are, in every moment of your existence, no matter where you live, because today thanks to new technologies you can see and speak each other when you want. Obviously you need “watering this plant”, but you know always in your heart that you are there and you can encourage or support her or him and the friendship is a priceless gift, that cannot be bought or sold.
    By the way, I really appreciate all that you have done to assure my better stay there.
    Someone wrote: “A true friend is the greatest of all blessings” and it’s the truth.
    A hug Ely

  • indigobunting says:

    It is lovely to see you here again.

  • DarcKnyt says:

    I see no reason to be focused. This is your blog; if it ends up being someplace for you to offload the random things that float to the top of your mind, so be it.

    And welcome back. I missed you. 🙂

  • I am glad you feel recharged. I have felt less of a need to blog and share lately too. Ebb and flow. Great that the pen is moving.

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