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Sooner or Later You Face the World

When I was told in a comment this morning that I needed penis enlargement, it woke me up. My blog is being overtaken by spam, of all things. I spammed the comment, and opened my spam folder to find 1017 gems.

Face the world

Face the world

I would have deleted the whole enchilada but I saw a comment or two from names I recognized, trapped in as well. So, I trawled through the muck, and have just about got my head into normal breathing space now. One thing is clear: I need to stop hiding, and start writing, much as I’ve begun to do on my other blog.

I wonder who these people are, the spammers? Are they pimply teenage boys and girls looking to make that extra buck? Are they aliens with 4 eyes and 16 arms? Most likely they are enterprising souls who wear designer duds and party the night away, or sit holed up in their space-console-like dens and create these vicious little programs, which run on hundreds upon thousands of unsuspecting little computers, unaware that they are soldiers of an invisible army. For some reason they believe that spewing out tonnes of ungrammatical gibberish will help their cause.

I can’t resist quoting a few here for your enjoyment. Take care, all, and hopefully, this blog is now back to regular programming.

Only possible one warning, typically start with solitary two torpedoes.
Use alcohol to permit control the slugs in your garden by fashioning the beer trap.

Clothing is one of belly ways through which you’ll want to judge a woman. All the most up-to-date fashion their very outfits tools to look at these people.

Then test it on your little brown eyes by dropping an drop into personal eye.
They have many benefits due to actually their
working components.

Usually I don’t read article on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very pressured me to take a look at and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thanks, quite nice post.

Damyanti Biswas

Damyanti Biswas is the author of You Beneath Your Skin and numerous short stories that have been published in magazines and anthologies in the US, the UK, and Asia. She has been shortlisted for Best Small Fictions and Bath Novel Awards and is co-editor of the Forge Literary Magazine. Her literary crime thriller series, the Blue Mumbai, is represented by Lucienne Diver from The Knight Agency. Both The Blue Bar and The Blue Monsoon were published in 2023.

I appreciate comments, and I always visit back. If you're having trouble commenting, let me know via the contact form, or tweet me up @damyantig !

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  • I love the title…and the kitty did it for me, I had to click on in and read. Lol πŸ™‚

  • leamuse says:

    Thank you for stopping by one of my blogs. I am glad you enjoyed the post on Jasper Fforde. Use to reading biographies, history and politics, he has been a stretch for me but a most enjoyable one. I hope you stop by again some time and enjoy what you find.

  • I don’t know if this has been mentioned or not as I am not wading through all the comments to see but in emails the gibberish is meant to confuse spam filters. The filters do not know yet that its gibberish but if you look at it it contains things that would look to a filter to be a wealth of information about…..nothing, really. But again, the filters do not yet have the intelligence yet to know that. Sometimes this works and it lands in your inbox. Most often, it lands in the spam box. Its actually nothing that anyone wrote but created for a mass mailing to get through. Me, I wish it would stop because it makes no sense…..but someone in Russia seems to think that it will….somehow.

  • I am so glad I am not the only one receiving these. Thanks for making fun of something that can get on one’s nerves.

  • I think many of them come from Rumania. It gets very quiet there in the evenings.

  • inkspeare says:

    I am so puzzled by spam. My husband opened a new email account and no one had it yet, when the next day he already had one spam email in the brand new account. The same happened to me, so I don’t know how spammers get their doors open ???

  • Hiya, I just wondered how you get the option for people to vote on your blog posts? πŸ™‚

  • Some of the spam seems like a lot of flattery of my writing skills (“your blog is so interesting! Glad I found it”), but I keep my ego in check, read the rest of the spam indicator words and delete their comments.

  • Damyanti says:

    Gladys, glad to see you back ! Yep– the spammers could actually sell something if they gave up spamming!

  • Yes, I get some too. I rather think they are trying to get attention to their own blogs, usually by flattering mine in quite creative ways. Often it is just a means of promoting something.

  • These spammers are ridiculous. What are they tinking?

  • Gargi Mehra says:

    Damayanti, I was just thinking the other day about how your writing taste has been amazed me!

  • I’m hearing you! One of the blights on modern society. Glad you were able to sort some real readers from the spam. xx

  • Sheena-kay Graham says:

    Spammers are annoying but sometimes funny. Glad you’re back.

  • indigobunting says:

    Does anything ever happen for people who send spam? I mean, are people really so stupid as to reply to any of that? xxxooo to you!

  • LucyJartz says:

    I just used the words selling and sold in a post and started getting junk.

  • I’m always amazed by the spamalots. Sometimes I just delete them, as you do, but I do sometimes read them and wonder why they do it. I’ve no decent explanation

  • belsbror says:

    When I wrote a post “How to earn money online?” my intention was to ask other readers suggestions. The funny thing, spam comments began coming. They attach to my early posts and I have no idea why.
    It’s my experience. Just this minute I discovered a trackback item as a spam comment. I checked the site and they are selling anti-aging creams. πŸ˜€

    • Damyanti says:

      I receive loads of trackback, where they skim my entire post, copy-paste it as *original content* on their sites. Thank God Google hates such people, and gets them once I blow the whistle. Wait, Google Is God.

  • soul3ck says:

    I’ve actually had a few from accounts that owners don’t use anymore. So maybe some of them are computer programmed? Hence the grammatical gibberish πŸ™‚

  • blastedgoat says:

    I love to create things out of spam (I’ve done a few spam-poems) or I at least giggle at it before sending it to spamblivion… I haven’t checked my folder for the longest time… Better go see what the damage is! Great post, and thanks for stopping by my blog πŸ˜€

  • kayemofnmy says:

    Oh, and welcome back.

  • kayemofnmy says:

    “Nice blog” (and having dispensed with the niceties) Visit mine (followed by two sentences on what they have on offer)” That seems to be their standard, rather blatant format. That is why I enabled comment moderation and then, on receiving complaints from bloggers-(with-discretion) whose comments were relevant to the post, disabled it.

    • Damyanti says:

      Hey, I had to rescue this one from spam, not sure how it got there. No spammer ever tells me to visit their blogs. They probably should.

  • Bhavya says:

    LOL πŸ˜€ Interestingly creative comments πŸ˜›
    Welcome back btw

    • Damyanti says:

      Thanks, Bhavya. Who knows, maybe the spammers are simply disgruntled writers out to end the world by annoying the hell out of it.

  • Welcome back. πŸ™‚

  • kayuk says:

    I think the same spammers are hitting my blog. My personal spam favorite is:
    “you are my inhalation , I own few blogs and often run out from to post : (.”
    I just love being someone’s inhalation, LOL!
    Good to have you back.

    • Damyanti says:

      Thanks for the kind words. You’re someone’s inhalation, and aren’t sure whose. I see a story there. Jokes apart, I hope the spambots leave your blog alone.

  • sandrabranum says:

    I think the beer works for the slugs, but save some for yourself in case it doesn’t. πŸ˜‰

  • feltenk says:

    Glad you’re back! Clothing is one of belly ways – Ha!

    • Damyanti says:

      I’m happy to be back too. And as to clothing and Belly ways, they seem to have hit their mark, haven’t they?

  • Half of that first comment is actually good advice! If you dig a jar into the ground in your garden and fill it with beer, slugs will be attracted to it, fall in and drown. Don’t ask me how I know this… or what it has to do with torpedoes.

    • Damyanti says:

      I won’t. But I’ll happily read a post on your blog on this topic if you choose to discuss it some day.

  • carmenaidacreates says:

    The goal seems to been made: you are getting back to whatever “normal” is after all your pain. It is a process& you’re working through it. Maybe you can even look at as comic relief or a nudge in the right direction. Accept whatever help the gods seem fit to give us. Just take it slow, give yourself time to heal.

    • Damyanti says:

      Thanks, I am. How do I check out your blog– no link?

      • carmenaidacreates says:

        You already do!!! But thanks for asking. It’s carmenaidacreates. You have “liked” a couple of my posts. Which is how I found you. Lucky me!! You have been in my prayers. I do hope you are feeling more at peace.

  • sarahremy says:

    It looks like alien poetry.

  • They look like google translations. They never turn out right. Good stuff.

    • Damyanti says:

      Google translations is my only way of communicating with some people during my expat life, so I do hope you’re wrong, somewhat.

  • A couple of those are really creative!
    I know, sometimes real comments get caught by spam. Bet you wished you could’ve deleted all.
    Glad you’re ready to face writing here again. We’ve missed you.

    • Damyanti says:

      Thanks, Alex. Both for the comments and the thoughts. I’ve missed talking to you on my blog too. (And, that’s the longest comment you’ve ever written me, so double thanks!) πŸ˜€

  • Don’t be “too hard” on all that advertising . . . by my estimate, with another three months’ supply, I’ll be measuring my 4 inches from the floor! I just hope I get the memory of the elephant as a bonus . . .

  • I think most of these spammers are actually computer programs just stringing random keywords together. That’s the only thing I can think of to explain how little sense they always make. πŸ™‚ My favorite spam said something like, “I enjoy cheese because it makes meals thicker.” Most comprehensive spam comment I ever got! πŸ˜‰ Welcome back!

  • gettyhesse1 says:

    These are precious, with all their atrocious grammatical errors. They definitely don’t seem to be professionally written.

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