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There have been times in my life I have written in order to express, to share, to talk about things, and on rare occasions, to get a discussion going.

But lately, I’ve begun to sense a tendency to withdraw, as if my entire being is preparing to hibernate, as if all my energies are directed inwards. Any call outwards seems like a disturbance rather than an invitation. I would rather just sit in my room and write, thank you, and I’m not too bothered about who, if anyone ever, is going to read it. Dangerous tendency, that of forgetting the readers.

But wait, not all are barred. I do have an imaginary reader. She sulks in a corner sometimes, at others gets excited about a passage I’ve written, and sometimes urges me push the delete button on the whole damn thing. I wonder what she looks like, for I have never really seen her, she can’t be seen other than from the corner of the eye. She talks a lot though, and often makes me wish I couldn’t hear her.

I’d give anything to make her smile, her smile comes with a chuckle I can hear, and it is a sound I love. If she ever praises what I write, I swear I shall die immediately and go to heaven.

In the meanwhile, I apologize to the blogging world. There will be a post or two when the mood takes me, or if I need to get away from my room and my reader, but mostly, I’m just gonna stay in.

Damyanti Biswas

Damyanti Biswas is the author of You Beneath Your Skin and numerous short stories that have been published in magazines and anthologies in the US, the UK, and Asia. She has been shortlisted for Best Small Fictions and Bath Novel Awards and is co-editor of the Forge Literary Magazine. Her forthcoming literary crime thriller, The Blue Bar is represented by Lucienne Diver from The Knight Agency, and will be published by Thomas & Mercer on January 1, 2023.

I appreciate comments, and I always visit back. If you're having trouble commenting, let me know via the contact form, or tweet me up @damyantig !

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6 Comments

  • hello if you are travelling to indonesia, you can call me

  • Mental Mist says:

    Im here too and im not even writing 🙁 … can i please borrow ur imaginary reader though, she sounds fabulous, she can tell me whether its a good idea to watch a movie 🙁

    Take care Damyanti, I hope your room finds you peace and us some of your wonderful writing!

  • indigobunting says:

    It’s OK. We’ll keep checking in on you.

  • rani says:

    don’t need to apologise for not blogging lately. the itch will come in staggering nudges.

  • I think the best writing comes when the writer does forget about the audience.

  • DarcKnyt says:

    Try not to pressure yourself so much, Damyanti. We all understand and love you and wait for the day when (if) you return in full force, or in whatever force you have to offer.

    You have my complete support.

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