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How do you go from being Insecure to Secure? #IWSG #amwriting

By 02/03/2016June 9th, 2016blogging, Fiction, writing, writing ideas
Insecure Writer's Support Group

Calling all writers!

Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for organizing and hosting this event every month for the past few years! Go to his blog to see the other participants: each insecure writer, from across the blogiverse!

——

I’ve been an insecure blogger all of last week. make that the last few weeks. My blog is migrating to its own domain this Friday, and though I know the transfer is in very good hands, I can’t help feeling jittery!

If I disappear off the radar, I hope at least some of you would come looking for me on Twitter and Facebook. If we aren’t connected there, please leave your ids in the comments, and I’ll follow you back.

To make myself feel less insecure, I’ve been trying to distract myself with a few writing wins.

Anthology of Flash Fiction

Forge Anthology

One of my stories found a home in the Roar Magazine, another will be out soon with the Malaysian publishing house Silverfish.

The best though is this one: The Forge Anthology, a collection of flash-fiction by a bunch of award-winning authors, and I’m somehow lucky enough to be part of this book! If you love flash fiction, and I know some of you do, definitely buy this!

I’m still jittery about my blog, but things don’t look so bad on the writing front. I’m still an insecure writer, and need a group hug, I think. Sigh.

So, dear writer friends, how do you stay secure? All my bloggy friends (who I’m so terrified of losing because of the domain change)– any words of advice? All my reader friends, will you buy The Forge Anthology ?Β  Everyone, we following each other on Twitter and Facebook ? Do we do a mushy group-hug thing before I move homes?

Please join Daily (w)rite on its Facebook Page in case you would like to be heard by this community. If you liked this post, you can have biweekly posts delivered to your inbox: click the Subscription button in the sidebar. (Like I said, I’m moving to a new domain soon, and am counting on you guys to subscribe via email for us to keep in touch!)

Damyanti Biswas

Damyanti Biswas is the author of You Beneath Your Skin and numerous short stories that have been published in magazines and anthologies in the US, the UK, and Asia. She has been shortlisted for Best Small Fictions and Bath Novel Awards and is co-editor of the Forge Literary Magazine. Her forthcoming literary crime thriller, The Blue Bar is represented by Lucienne Diver from The Knight Agency, and will be published by Thomas & Mercer on January 1, 2023.

I appreciate comments, and I always visit back. If you're having trouble commenting, let me know via the contact form, or tweet me up @damyantig !

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76 Comments

  • erbiage says:

    lean on the god within. your higher self knows what is right. the only obstacles are the ones you put there. you are stronger than you know. trust yourself.

  • and…you MUST write for yourself – only! what others think of what you write is their business. your business is to create. continue…

  • I thank you for the “follow.” I shall endeavor to inform and amuse…and, above all, always try to be interesting. continue…

  • chungwipff says:

    I try to re-direct my focus on “the work” and not think too much about what others will think or feel. It’s a constant challenge. πŸ™‚

  • I’m not sure there’s such a thing as “secure” — for me it’s always been “do it anyway.”

    One of my favorite quotes by Franklin D. Roosevelt β€” ‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.’

    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

  • Sure I will. When is it due?

  • Great work!

  • aj vosse says:

    You insecure??? You’ve been an inspiration and role model for so many! πŸ˜‰ Congrats on getting published, again! πŸ˜€

  • Aliefwrites says:

    I am terrified about my writing. Not because I think it’s bad but because I don’t know what I will do when it actually gets published. I believe great things come to all us writers (like getting our books published and purchased) it’s the after effects I’m worried about. How do we handle the spotlight? Now people are expecting something better. Is this the lifestyle we really want? And mostly are we ready for it?

  • Go you!! woot woot!

  • thia licona says:

    Well? Is there an end to the oozing sore in our souls? Perhaps not. The sore is there to stay but? There is a way to live above & beyond the nasty spot. There is a way to overcome our pitiful insecurities. It is my hope for all to experience such a way. Glad you visited. πŸ™‚

  • Gary says:

    Two years ago, give or take a memory lapse, I created a blog. Put up one short story and went into hibernation…so to speak. Insecurity, low self confidence, can I write, can’t I write, why is it I don’t believe people when they say I can? Catastrophising at every turn if you like…no idea how to combat it back then and even more unsure now. It seems this is the post to say hang about, it’s not just me having a meta-crisis…it is strangely comforting!

    My point about old dead blogs and telling you this…well back upon the inaugural post you were the first person to follow me. I neither acknowledged that or followed it up. The malaise descended and tumbleweed cloaked the on-line presence. January just gone I awoke and despite the deficits of confidence decided to battle on.

    I am here to humbly apologise for not responding from way back in a time you have likely forgotten. I have not…as I said the very first follower…one does not forget such.

    Good luck with the move….although this too is probably belated ?

  • Honestly, I’m very insecure when it comes to my writing. I read all of these beautifully written fictional pieces by others and I look back on what I’ve written and just feel like it’s awful. I try to make myself feel better though by telling myself that everything I write about my life is truthful and probably more horrifying than anything I could ever make up with my imagination. I try not to compare myself too much to other writers. ?

  • I’ve considered making that change too. But learning more code (for wordpress.org) and shelling out for more internet-related fees keeps me merely thinking about it… Also, I like being connected to the wordpress.com hive. Still, at some point one probably does have to make the jump if they want to make the big leagues, as it were. Best wishes on it. πŸ™‚

  • I too worried when I migrated to a self-hosted blog. I still have the old blog open, with instructions for finding me, but it was much easier than I expected. Good luck!

  • Seems like commenting with a Blogger account (okay, G+) works just fine, D πŸ™‚

  • Congrats on your stories! And don’t worry about the domain change, most go off without a hitch. Relax you’ve had some pretty good successes of late. @sheilagood at Cow Pasture Chronicles

  • Parul Thakur says:

    A hug for you! It has gone well and as I said earlier – the site is well done. I did on my own and sometimes I feel I should make it professional πŸ˜›
    On (in)secure writers – well, ask me? I am always in doubt about my self and whether I am writing good enough to be read. So, yeah – I will get to more blabbering on this topic but trust me, you are a rockstar!

    • Damyanti Biswas says:

      I got the best kind of support with the site, Parul! Thanks for checking things out for me. If you show me a secure writer, I can show you a bad writer rightaway. All good writers are insecure– only fools are secure in their knowledge, and only the hacks are forever, relentlessly confident.

      • Parul Thakur says:

        Ah! Such a sigh of relief when you say that πŸ™‚ And another test done for your site. I got the response in my WP comments πŸ™‚ So you got it!

        • Yay, so WP comments are being notified, too. Thanks for letting me know, Parul. Now go write. The only time you need confidence in writing is when you actually do the writing. It is ok to quake in your boots the rest of the time!

  • Sundar says:

    Best of luck πŸ™‚

  • projectwhy says:

    Congratulations.. looks great

  • Indywrites says:

    Congratulations! The site looks perfect, I felt right at home, comfortable that I was at your old blog.
    Its a seamless transition. Bravo!

  • batteredhope says:

    I liked, googled, facebooked, pinterested, twittered — and now commented. CONGRATS and big HUGS. Nice transition

    • Damyanti Biswas says:

      Thanks! This has been a nail-biting time, but it looks like it might all end well.

  • Rajlakshmi says:

    wow congratulations on your achievements πŸ˜€ Good luck with moving to new domain. Hope it’s all smooth.

  • macjam47 says:

    Hi Damyanti. I hope all went well with your blog move. That is scary with the possibility of loosing important posts, comments, and followers. Good luck.

    • Damyanti Biswas says:

      Thanks, Michelle. Seems like I lost the Likes– I’m hoping the techie wizard helping with my transition can help get them back…. But the comments and the friends are in, so I guess it’s not all that bad.

  • Hugs Damyanti and all the best:)

  • matheikal says:

    All the best. Good going.

  • Wish you all the best for the daring move, will follow up on twitter on the new blog.

  • I get insecure about my writing, especially about my blog. When I feel that way, I try to remember the reason why I started writing in the first place. I do it because I love it more than anything else. It’s easy to get hung up on book sales, followers, likes, and etc. It’s even easier to suffer feelings of insecurity. The important thing is to remember you’re doing what you love. Find security and confidence in that.

  • Stein says:

    Congratulations on all the great achievements! don’t worry, the move to the new domain will go well… and yes, of course we your loyal readers will follow!!!!

  • Congratulations on all of your recent accomplishments.

  • miladyronel says:

    Congrats on publishing your stories πŸ™‚
    Even if domains don’t always make sense, at least there’s twitter until they do… Good luck with the move.
    As for not being an insecure mess? Watching Romancing the Stone reminds me that it could be worse – I could be a lost writer in a jungle… Besides, as writers our emotions are supposed to be in flux, right?

  • hilarymb says:

    Hi Damyanti – I’l make sure I find you … and good luck with the move tomorrow. Congratulations on all the submissions – I love that photo for the Forge Anthology – brilliant promotional cover …

    Take care all will be well and your writing will continue to shine – cheers Hilary

    • Damyanti Biswas says:

      Thanks Hillary– the cover is quite brilliant. As to the domain change, we’ve done a redirect, so you should be able to find me even if you try to access my old site on WordPress.

  • riturang says:

    Congratulations and best of luck! I suppose some of us could actually learn a few valuable tips from you.

  • davidprosser says:

    Best wishes for the Domain change Damyanti.
    xxx Sending Massive Hugs xxx

  • cynthiamvoss says:

    Congrats on your multiple recent publishing achievements!! Don’t worry about the blog transfer, it will all work out πŸ™‚ Hugs!

  • Congratulations and all the best with your domain change.

  • Joy Pixley says:

    Congratulations on the story pubs and good luck with the domain move! I just read your story in Roar and it’s fabulous! Such an emotional ambiance you wove there — great job!

  • plotus says:

    Congratulations, Damyanti on the writing wins. Moving of any kind is quite stressful, but a star shines wherever it goes. All the best for the move!

  • Birgit says:

    First off-big hug! You will not lose me as long as I know what i am doing if you change domains. I don’t know what that means but hopefully I see you still in my blog stuff:) I think have 3 things published is amazing and you deserve all the accolades. It takes action not talk to get things done and you have done just that:)

  • Suzanne says:

    Hugs from Mid-MO!!!! Holding your hand here in the U.S.!
    Congratulations on your recent published pieces. I’ll try to figure out how to continue following when I get off of my phone and onto my computer. πŸ™‚

  • ccyager says:

    BIG HUG!!!! I’ll find you probably through Facebook. Thanks for the warning, though. Cinda

  • Congratulations! So happy for you.

    As to your question… I’m on my sixth book and still feel insecure. There are days when I want to quit and wonder why I am putting myself through all this. If there is one negative review out of 100, that single review is the one that sticks in my mind. But when I feel like quitting, I always remind myself that even before I published, even before I ever showed a story to another person, I had been writing for years, and whether I publish or not, I’ll still be writing for myself.

  • lexacain says:

    A domain change would scare me too because I don’t understand anything about that. But I know about getting published and huge congrats to you on getting THREE stories picked up! That’s wonderful! Good luck with the changes and (((hugs))). πŸ™‚

  • Congrats on the magazine and anthology!

    When I’m feeling insecure, I vent to my in-person critique group. I am so grateful for them. We didn’t always have each other. Online writer friends work too. I keep the venting off public forums too.

  • That’s great news about the anthology, Damyanti! Congrats. πŸ™‚

    I definitely have periods of insecurity when it comes to blogging, and it always centers on comments or statistics. For example, if a lot of readers like a post but very few comment on it, I tend to personalize that “gap” and start looking for mistakes or ways I could have improved on that post. I love getting feedback and interacting with readers, but when I focus too much on statistics, it starts to stress me out or eat at my confidence. And when that happens, the only way I’ve found to combat that insecurity is to stop forcing things and focus on the one thing I can control – writing.

  • Shailaja V says:

    Congrats on the anthology and woo hoo on the domain shift πŸ™‚ Trust me. People will still find you. Not to worry πŸ™‚

    • Damyanti Biswas says:

      Thanks, Shailaja! I’ve moved, and we’re still connected!

  • Dan Antion says:

    I subscribe via email, I follow you everywhere. I am NOT losing touch! Period!

    As for staying secure, I don’t. I’m still pretty insecure but I keep trying in spite of that. Somehow, I think you can be insecure and confident at the same time.

  • Loni Townsend says:

    *hug* That’s pretty cool about the anthology. Congrats! I hope it’s a big success!

  • Congrats on your publications! And good luck with your blog move! Don’t worry. I’ll come find your new blog and follow up again.

  • Srivi says:

    All the best! I am sure everything will fall in place…..
    And a big congrats for the Forge Anthology πŸ™‚

  • Congratulations on the story and the anthology!
    I switched over to my own domain last year without a glitch. The only glitch was when we switch the IWSG’s domain to a new provider. It did go down for a couple days.

    • Damyanti Biswas says:

      I have shifted, but the site hasn’t gone down yet. Crossing fingers!

  • We’re connected via twitter and facebook. I switched from blogger to my own domain a couple years ago. Ya, you lose a few, but they weren’t really following you anyway. Switching made everything much easier and more accessible. If you’re still making connections, you’ll keep the energy going.

    Mary at Play off the Page

    • I have about 30k followers on WordPress, but only about 6k who comment.

      I suppose I’ll just have to deal with losing touch with some friends : but so far the thought of that upsets me.

  • I thought I was following you on twitter! Anyhow, I am now. (Although I’m not on there as much as I’d like.) @crystalcollier1
    Way to get into the anthology! I’m so stoked for you!

  • Jack Shalom says:

    Best of luck!

  • Mayur says:

    @Mayurh9

  • Reblogged this on Smile Circulation and commented:
    Hope the move goes well

  • Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.

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