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When I wrote the post on the relationship between writing and pain, I knew I would have to go through what I am now, the surgery was planned quite some time ago.

I have a scar on my face, the result of an excision, and boy, it hurts! The scar throbs every time I look down, and I haven’t yet figured out a way to not look down when I’m writing.

Hopefully it will all get better soon, but till then, writing every word is a pain, literally! A bit like Harry Potter’s throbbing scar, I keep telling myself, only the darn thing throbs all the time. My husband looks at the stitches in rapt fascination, cos you can see them clearly under the redness and the transparent bit of plaster. Sometimes I feel he wishes he had it instead, boys and scars have a fascinating relationship:).

But it was an experience really, this whole excision thing, painless other than a few anesthetic injections, and the near headache I got from trying not to look at the glaring operation lights. But I could feel the blood trickling down my face, the doc working fast and easy with a thin thread to do the stitching, and I could smell the burning when the laser switched on.

The whole idea of broken skin is familiar, because I have been accident-prone the past year, small cuts, burns, broken bones. But deliberate cutting of flesh is something else. And so is the sight of blood-soaked cotton on the floor when I was asked to get up from the operating bed.

It is a bit hard for me to think of all the acres of tattoos decorating human bodies all over the world, how people undergo repeated pain in order to deliberately mark their bodies.

And harder still is the thought of all those people who go under the knife time and time again to change their looks: citizens of the glam world I understand, for them looks are livelihood, but what about suburban housewives who go through months of pain to transform themselves, getting addicted in the process?

What about people who get off on pain? Interesting thought, that, one that is a complete mystery to me.

Aargh, there goes my scar again, throb, throb, pull, pull,…….time to go back to some patient roof-staring till the pain subsides, and I can continue writing!

Damyanti Biswas

Damyanti Biswas is the author of You Beneath Your Skin and numerous short stories that have been published in magazines and anthologies in the US, the UK, and Asia. She has been shortlisted for Best Small Fictions and Bath Novel Awards and is co-editor of the Forge Literary Magazine. Her forthcoming literary crime thriller, The Blue Bar is represented by Lucienne Diver from The Knight Agency, and will be published by Thomas & Mercer on January 1, 2023.

I appreciate comments, and I always visit back. If you're having trouble commenting, let me know via the contact form, or tweet me up @damyantig !

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7 Comments

  • dancingwoo says:

    Thank you for the comment. and I will continue to write and see where it leads me. 🙂

  • damyantig says:

    I am so glad you made it here Paul! And it was a bonus to have you on the other blog and a looong mail, must have been a busy Sunday for you!

    The main reason I had to have the excision was because they did not want any malignancy to set in, and the results would be out this Friday, because the tissue has gone for cancer-test…*crossing my fingers*. Will write to you in detail on the mail, and thank you so much for dropping by, I hope you will make it a habit!

  • damyantig says:

    Thanks, darcknyt, and I hope I recover fast enough to contribute the two paras on the story chain or the fun would be over before I get there!

  • lensman2008 says:

    Hi! I just signed on here and all my names were taken, so I wound up with a variation of my previous one. I couldn’t help laughing during the sign-up process where it states, “Yes, I’ve read the fascinating terms of service.” I enjoyed ticking that one off. As for your story, oh, boy, I remember a couple of excisions of my own, except they were on my lower back…two melanomas. My heart goes out to you…it’s more up close and personal when it’s on your face. My mother had an excision just this past September, about two inches below her left eye. It was for a pre-cancerous lesion which they had previously treated four or five times with liquid nitrogen but which kept recurring anyway. The excision did the trick, though, and now you can barely tell it was there. She had to walk around for a while with the stitches and the reddish scar for a while, too, but today’s skin surgeons do a wonderful job with these things, Damyanti. And I think a little scar on a person’s cheek is kind of fetching, actually, kind of a badge of life. In fact, I once enjoyed writing a post about scars, especially one in particular. May you heal quickly, and good for you for writing about it! (I must confess to a couple of tattoos, although today’s self is much less keen on them than my 17-year-old sailor self was 🙂

  • darcknyt says:

    I’ve never liked pain — it hurts. Those that voluntarily, willing subject themselves to it are a complete mystery to me. It’s an odd disease, that one.

    I hope everything heals well and the pain subsides quickly. 🙂

  • damyantig says:

    Thanks for the wishes and for dropping by, Katcampbell, and hope to see you again soon!

    Yes, I do hate pain, but I guess I have to take this one one step at a time.

  • katcampbell says:

    Wishing you a fast recovery! I too have always wondered what ticks in the brain of people who voluntarily go under the knife or needle. I’ve never found anything appealing about pain.

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